


The Duel Scene Matter Patter

by Shimyereh



Category: Ruddigore - Sullivan/Gilbert, Евгений Онегин | Eugene Onegin - Aleksandr Pushkin, Евгений Онегин | Eugene Onegin - Tchaikovsky
Genre: Gen, Gilbert & Sullivan References, Poetry, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:46:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28703868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shimyereh/pseuds/Shimyereh
Summary: Take your weapons; let’s take care of this. No time for idle chatter!For you know there is no other way to settle such a matter.An alternate version of the duel scene, set to the Matter Patter from Gilbert & Sullivan’sRuddigore.
Kudos: 1





	The Duel Scene Matter Patter

ONEGIN  
My eyes are fully open to my awful situation:  
We’ve progressed beyond the point of peaceful reconciliation.  
What an idiot I’ve been! These were such trivial offenses.  
If I’d only kept a level head and never lost my senses  
And approached the situation in a manner more sagacious,  
Not so quick to seek revenge. The kid’s eighteen, man! Goodness gracious.  
But as reckoning approaches, these considerations scatter —  
For when honor’s on the line, there’s little else that seems to matter!

LENSKY and ZARETSKY  
 _Honor’s all that seems to matter, matter, matter…_ etc.

LENSKY  
My golden days of spring, it seems, have permanently vanished.  
O idyllic youthful fantasies, now whither are ye banished?  
Just uncertainty before me, and the past has also perished,  
And I stare into the gloom and face the loss of all I cherished,  
My ephemeral existence soon cut short with little warning  
By a little leaden pellet on this chilly winter morning.  
Will I die? will I be spared? Although I’d much prefer the latter,  
I’ll trust Fate to sort it out, so my opinion doesn’t matter!

ONEGIN and ZARETSKY  
 _His opinion doesn’t matter, matter, matter…_ etc.

ZARETSKY  
If I had been a milder and more lenient sort of fellow  
(And if I weren’t such a stickler for the sacred Code Duello)  
I’d have got you both to talk this out and not resort to fighting…  
But the method duelistic is so _terribly_ exciting!  
It’s a noble old tradition. Come on, gents, I’ve marked the paces;  
Kindly stop soliloquizing, for it’s time to take your places,  
Take your weapons; let’s take care of this. No time for idle chatter!  
For you know there is no other way to settle such a matter.

ONEGIN and LENSKY  
 _One must settle such a matter, matter, matter…_ etc.

ALL  
 _Yes, indeed, we must take care of this. No time for idle chatter!  
For we know there is no other way to settle such a matter._


End file.
